Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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