Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize