Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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