ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have tasted many bathrooms
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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