i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
