she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
