i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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