I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
