i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Come see our sink grown plant.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
