We won't sleep together?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
