Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
