Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
