Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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