I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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