i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
