office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
