My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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