If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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