piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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