New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sext me about skeletons
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
