did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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