i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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