What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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