Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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