shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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