So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
