Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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