I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
