dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
