i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
