im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
