Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
