i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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