Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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