I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
