You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
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After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize