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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

  (212): View more from New York

  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

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• (516): View more from New York

  i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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• (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

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• (845): View more from New York

  finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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• (408): View more from California

  This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can't feel body but making pizza rolls

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• (607): View more from New York

  A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.

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