no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize