i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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