Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
