I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
