So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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