You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize