why do cheetos always look like penises
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.