My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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