did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
