Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
