Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
