Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
