how can u be prego again
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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