The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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