well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
