So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I die, sorry about rent.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
