You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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