i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
