She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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