I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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