Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugly people sure do ruin things
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize