Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
