My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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