Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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