Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And then he peed in my hair
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