First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize